Broken Relationships

I’m going to be completely honest here.  If you want a post with butterflies and hearts and polka dots, then this is not the one for you. 🙂

This is about broken relationships.  The kind that can’t be fixed, no matter how much effort you make.  The kind you have to trust to God.

A relationship was broken this week.  And I think the angels cried a little.  It wasn’t done in a malicious way, I don’t think, but there was finality to it.  The line had been drawn. There was nothing else I could do except let go.

I have always said that the true test of relationship is that we can have a disagreement, a major argument of differences…but the true test would be whether we would live on to see another day.  My best relationships, though sometimes filled with drama, were those that stood the test and we loved each other the most because we had to work the hardest at it. This was one relationship that did not pass this test.  We were at an impasse.  And we did not live on to see another day.

I’m not interested in an “everything’s fine, let’s play checkers” kind of relationship.  I’m interested in the kind of relationship that stands the tests of conflict and challenges us to be better, stronger people.  I’m interested in the kind of relationship where people  make conscious efforts to communicate well, even though we often come up short.  I’m interested in the kind of relationship that both engages in honest dialogue and invokes the humorous side of a life that we often take too seriously.  You see, that kind of friendship is refreshing to me.

Don’t get me wrong- I love playing games. I love bowling. I love movie marathons. I love goofing off. As long as we’re not pretending that everything is okay because we’re so afraid of conflict, as long as the extent of our relationship is not just checkers and bowling- but embraces the nitty gritty of life, too. 🙂

Yet, some people just aren’t interested in that kind of relationship.  And I have to learn to be okay with that.

At first I was hurt.  Then I was angry.  Then I was…dare I say it?… RELIEVED.  I can mourn over a lost friendship, but I am actually a little bit relieved.  This person has some issues to deal with and it is no longer my responsibility to help him deal with it.  It never really was.  That’s between him and God.  I can honestly say that I want the best for this person.  I really do.  I have removed myself from between God and that person—and allow God to deal with him as he needs to deal with him.  And for God to deal with me as He needs to deal with me.

Broken relationships.  Sometimes they just can’t be fixed.  At least not while we live in a fallen world.   Yet, God gives us the daily grace to be able to move on.

Reconciliation is a gift from the Father.  We sometimes forget that.  We can forgive, we must forgive, but reconciliation comes from God.  The way things are is not the way things have to be.  And because of this we do our part in picking up the broken pieces and giving them to God to do as He needs to do.  Again and again and again.  Until he reconciles ALL things to Himself.

And you know what?  This is one of those “living in the ‘already’ and the ‘not yet'” truths.  We rejoice because He already HAS reconciled these things through the work of the Son on that day in Jerusalem.  And we wait in eager anticipation as this reaches its culmination on the other side of eternity.

I look forward to that day.


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